12/19/03

The Smiths had a damn fine day today. It must have been damn fine to get me to update my website.

My dad retired today, as of 5:00 p.m. this afternoon, after working as an officer of the Federal courts since I was 4 months old. His quote, at the time of his emancipation, was, "Free at last...free at last...thank God Almighty I'm free at last."

He then fell asleep in his recliner....remote in hand.

The other good news was I learned today that I passed the Professional Engineering exam, officially making me: Tony L. Smith, P.E.

Ronda is none too excited about being Ronda M. Smith, Wife of P.E., but I told her with time she'll get used to it. I spent a good portion of this past year applying, preparing, and studying for this thing, and if I'd failed I would have had to go through then entire ordeal again. The relief is palpable.

Needless to say, if able, I intend for every Christmas card I send to be sealed by my official seal *seal sound*, *seal sound*.

Oh, and by the way. I saw Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King Wednesday night. You may be wondering whether or not this is a good movie. You want to know if the hopes you have invested in it will be dashed, your good heart trampled as it was when you left Star Wars Episode One - gasping at the naked contempt displayed by George Lucas.

I predict that you will be knocked clean on your ass, in the absence of mercy, pounded by raw craft and quality for the film's over three hour duration. I liked Two Towers well enough, preferred Fellowship, you know, but it'll do. Return of the King, by comparison, is every element executed with laser-guided precision. There is no point in the movie that appears to avail one the opportunity to pee.

Lastly, check out my latest cartoon, Kill Bear. My brother is using his connections, and we may be showing these at the Alamo Drafthouse here in Austin next month.

Mario Kart News

Nintendo releases the first gameplay information on its long-awaited GameCube racing game. First screens inside.

Nintendo has today released the first gameplay information on the GameCube version of Mario Kart via its official E3 Web site. The game will boast a number of new features, the most obvious and intriguing of which is that each kart is manned not only by a driver, whose attributes will affect the handling of the kart, but also by a second character that will be responsible for handling power-up items and weapons. In addition to six regular items that are available no matter which character is riding shotgun, each character will have access to a further eight items that are specific to them. Players will be able to have their two characters switch seats on the fly, which could make for some quite tactical racing since every change will alter both the handling of the kart and the items available.

Also, according to a report in the latest issue of Famitsu, a number of Nintendo characters that haven't previously appeared in Mario Kart games will also be making up the numbers on the starting grid. The 16 characters confirmed for inclusion in Mario Kart to date are as follows:

Baby Luigi
Baby Mario
Birdo
Bowser
Bowser Jr.
Daisy
Diddy Kong
Donkey Kong
Koopa Paratroopa
Koopa Troopa
Luigi
Mario
Peach
Wario
Waluigi
Yoshi

Famitsu's report also hints at support for up to eight players using two GameCube consoles, although no more specific details are available at this time. Rumor also has it that the game will come with a free pass allowing husbands to invite hordes of friends over for overnight MarioKart fests with beer and queso.

So yesterday I was sitting at a traffic light in South Austin, when a homeless guy caught my eye. His sign said, "Homeless Fortune Teller".

Then he flipped the sign over and it said, "I should have known."

Sometimes I love this town.

Cartoon #3: The Bear Strikes Back, is up on the main page. Went to a comic convention in Dallas this weekend. I heard a woman say hi, and turned around to see her saying hi to my wife. For a second, I wondered who she was, then realized it was Octopussy, or at least the woman who played Octopussy in the James Bond movie called Octopussy.

We also met Kit Fisto, got his autograph, and got pelted with golfball sized hail while watching the Horns in the Final Four against Syracuse. My boss summarized the game best: "The only defense that could possibly work against Carmelo Anthony would have been to bite him on the leg."

I'm currently working on the third installment of our animated series "Monkey and Bear". Hopefully this one will be as funny as the last two, but damned if it's difficult to top Monkey telling Anna Kournikova to suck it.

"And lo', there was a gnashing and great gritting of teeth, and Tony spat forth a new blog" -

Tonyicus, 3:16

I've started updating the website again. Nothing major, but new stories are afoot. You'll also notice new flash cartoons on the main page. I find that I need more then just one single outlet for avenues of stupidity. Hence the cartoons.

Fritz and I are making animations in celebration of LAN party goodness. I've probably mentioned before how at our LAN parties we play a game where everybody plays as goofy characters (i.e. I play as a Monkey, Fritz plays as a bear wearing a clown hat and a little pink tutu, aka. PartyBear) and we run around killing each other with guns, rocket launchers, grenades, etc...

Well, before every LAN party, Fritz and I usually make doctored up photoshop images trash talking each other's skill. Since last weekend there was a very special LAN party (celebrating our friend Jake's impending marriage), we decided to combine our talents and make something more unique, the cartoons.

Please give the link ample time to load. There is no preloading goodness to make it look better and the files range around 300K. It shouldn't take very long to load. And there is sound so turn your speakers up.