Well, I've finally updated the website. It's sort of a mesh between the old site, and the newer content. As soon as I started making a fancier site, it took to much work to update. Hence, back to simple.
Expect an update soon on my own personal war with Iraq.
6/22/2004
12/18/2003
12/19/03
The Smiths had a damn fine day today. It must have been damn fine to get me to update my website.
My dad retired today, as of 5:00 p.m. this afternoon, after working as an officer of the Federal courts since I was 4 months old. His quote, at the time of his emancipation, was, "Free at last...free at last...thank God Almighty I'm free at last."
He then fell asleep in his recliner....remote in hand.
The other good news was I learned today that I passed the Professional Engineering exam, officially making me: Tony L. Smith, P.E.
Ronda is none too excited about being Ronda M. Smith, Wife of P.E., but I told her with time she'll get used to it. I spent a good portion of this past year applying, preparing, and studying for this thing, and if I'd failed I would have had to go through then entire ordeal again. The relief is palpable.
Needless to say, if able, I intend for every Christmas card I send to be sealed by my official seal *seal sound*, *seal sound*.
Oh, and by the way. I saw Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King Wednesday night. You may be wondering whether or not this is a good movie. You want to know if the hopes you have invested in it will be dashed, your good heart trampled as it was when you left Star Wars Episode One - gasping at the naked contempt displayed by George Lucas.
I predict that you will be knocked clean on your ass, in the absence of mercy, pounded by raw craft and quality for the film's over three hour duration. I liked Two Towers well enough, preferred Fellowship, you know, but it'll do. Return of the King, by comparison, is every element executed with laser-guided precision. There is no point in the movie that appears to avail one the opportunity to pee.
Lastly, check out my latest cartoon, Kill Bear. My brother is using his connections, and we may be showing these at the Alamo Drafthouse here in Austin next month.
The Smiths had a damn fine day today. It must have been damn fine to get me to update my website.
My dad retired today, as of 5:00 p.m. this afternoon, after working as an officer of the Federal courts since I was 4 months old. His quote, at the time of his emancipation, was, "Free at last...free at last...thank God Almighty I'm free at last."
He then fell asleep in his recliner....remote in hand.
The other good news was I learned today that I passed the Professional Engineering exam, officially making me: Tony L. Smith, P.E.
Ronda is none too excited about being Ronda M. Smith, Wife of P.E., but I told her with time she'll get used to it. I spent a good portion of this past year applying, preparing, and studying for this thing, and if I'd failed I would have had to go through then entire ordeal again. The relief is palpable.
Needless to say, if able, I intend for every Christmas card I send to be sealed by my official seal *seal sound*, *seal sound*.
Oh, and by the way. I saw Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King Wednesday night. You may be wondering whether or not this is a good movie. You want to know if the hopes you have invested in it will be dashed, your good heart trampled as it was when you left Star Wars Episode One - gasping at the naked contempt displayed by George Lucas.
I predict that you will be knocked clean on your ass, in the absence of mercy, pounded by raw craft and quality for the film's over three hour duration. I liked Two Towers well enough, preferred Fellowship, you know, but it'll do. Return of the King, by comparison, is every element executed with laser-guided precision. There is no point in the movie that appears to avail one the opportunity to pee.
Lastly, check out my latest cartoon, Kill Bear. My brother is using his connections, and we may be showing these at the Alamo Drafthouse here in Austin next month.
4/23/2003
Mario Kart News
Nintendo releases the first gameplay information on its long-awaited GameCube racing game. First screens inside.
Nintendo has today released the first gameplay information on the GameCube version of Mario Kart via its official E3 Web site. The game will boast a number of new features, the most obvious and intriguing of which is that each kart is manned not only by a driver, whose attributes will affect the handling of the kart, but also by a second character that will be responsible for handling power-up items and weapons. In addition to six regular items that are available no matter which character is riding shotgun, each character will have access to a further eight items that are specific to them. Players will be able to have their two characters switch seats on the fly, which could make for some quite tactical racing since every change will alter both the handling of the kart and the items available.
Also, according to a report in the latest issue of Famitsu, a number of Nintendo characters that haven't previously appeared in Mario Kart games will also be making up the numbers on the starting grid. The 16 characters confirmed for inclusion in Mario Kart to date are as follows:
Baby Luigi
Baby Mario
Birdo
Bowser
Bowser Jr.
Daisy
Diddy Kong
Donkey Kong
Koopa Paratroopa
Koopa Troopa
Luigi
Mario
Peach
Wario
Waluigi
Yoshi
Famitsu's report also hints at support for up to eight players using two GameCube consoles, although no more specific details are available at this time. Rumor also has it that the game will come with a free pass allowing husbands to invite hordes of friends over for overnight MarioKart fests with beer and queso.
Nintendo releases the first gameplay information on its long-awaited GameCube racing game. First screens inside.
Nintendo has today released the first gameplay information on the GameCube version of Mario Kart via its official E3 Web site. The game will boast a number of new features, the most obvious and intriguing of which is that each kart is manned not only by a driver, whose attributes will affect the handling of the kart, but also by a second character that will be responsible for handling power-up items and weapons. In addition to six regular items that are available no matter which character is riding shotgun, each character will have access to a further eight items that are specific to them. Players will be able to have their two characters switch seats on the fly, which could make for some quite tactical racing since every change will alter both the handling of the kart and the items available.
Also, according to a report in the latest issue of Famitsu, a number of Nintendo characters that haven't previously appeared in Mario Kart games will also be making up the numbers on the starting grid. The 16 characters confirmed for inclusion in Mario Kart to date are as follows:
Baby Luigi
Baby Mario
Birdo
Bowser
Bowser Jr.
Daisy
Diddy Kong
Donkey Kong
Koopa Paratroopa
Koopa Troopa
Luigi
Mario
Peach
Wario
Waluigi
Yoshi
Famitsu's report also hints at support for up to eight players using two GameCube consoles, although no more specific details are available at this time. Rumor also has it that the game will come with a free pass allowing husbands to invite hordes of friends over for overnight MarioKart fests with beer and queso.
4/07/2003
Cartoon #3: The Bear Strikes Back, is up on the main page. Went to a comic convention in Dallas this weekend. I heard a woman say hi, and turned around to see her saying hi to my wife. For a second, I wondered who she was, then realized it was Octopussy, or at least the woman who played Octopussy in the James Bond movie called Octopussy.
We also met Kit Fisto, got his autograph, and got pelted with golfball sized hail while watching the Horns in the Final Four against Syracuse. My boss summarized the game best: "The only defense that could possibly work against Carmelo Anthony would have been to bite him on the leg."
We also met Kit Fisto, got his autograph, and got pelted with golfball sized hail while watching the Horns in the Final Four against Syracuse. My boss summarized the game best: "The only defense that could possibly work against Carmelo Anthony would have been to bite him on the leg."
3/20/2003
3/18/2003
"And lo', there was a gnashing and great gritting of teeth, and Tony spat forth a new blog" -
Tonyicus, 3:16
I've started updating the website again. Nothing major, but new stories are afoot. You'll also notice new flash cartoons on the main page. I find that I need more then just one single outlet for avenues of stupidity. Hence the cartoons.
Fritz and I are making animations in celebration of LAN party goodness. I've probably mentioned before how at our LAN parties we play a game where everybody plays as goofy characters (i.e. I play as a Monkey, Fritz plays as a bear wearing a clown hat and a little pink tutu, aka. PartyBear) and we run around killing each other with guns, rocket launchers, grenades, etc...
Well, before every LAN party, Fritz and I usually make doctored up photoshop images trash talking each other's skill. Since last weekend there was a very special LAN party (celebrating our friend Jake's impending marriage), we decided to combine our talents and make something more unique, the cartoons.
Please give the link ample time to load. There is no preloading goodness to make it look better and the files range around 300K. It shouldn't take very long to load. And there is sound so turn your speakers up.
Tonyicus, 3:16
I've started updating the website again. Nothing major, but new stories are afoot. You'll also notice new flash cartoons on the main page. I find that I need more then just one single outlet for avenues of stupidity. Hence the cartoons.
Fritz and I are making animations in celebration of LAN party goodness. I've probably mentioned before how at our LAN parties we play a game where everybody plays as goofy characters (i.e. I play as a Monkey, Fritz plays as a bear wearing a clown hat and a little pink tutu, aka. PartyBear) and we run around killing each other with guns, rocket launchers, grenades, etc...
Well, before every LAN party, Fritz and I usually make doctored up photoshop images trash talking each other's skill. Since last weekend there was a very special LAN party (celebrating our friend Jake's impending marriage), we decided to combine our talents and make something more unique, the cartoons.
Please give the link ample time to load. There is no preloading goodness to make it look better and the files range around 300K. It shouldn't take very long to load. And there is sound so turn your speakers up.
12/10/2002
9/09/2002
You would be proud of me. The other day I actually used, in actual conversation, the phrase "bodacious ta-ta's". It's been ten long years
since I last heard that phrase. I was so proud, but damned if I wasn't lauded as a master of verbal vomit.
Southpark last week had Cartman make a $20 bet with Kyle. The bet was that Cartman could shove food up his butt and shit out of his mouth. The entire school spent 5 minutes watching Cartman kneel at a toilet, "huuugh.....huuugh.....hughhhh." He was eventually successful.
The Battle of the Bed continues. Ronda now occupies approximately 76% of the available surface area, having recently taken over the much contested southwest corner of the bed. Little does she know that if I can tuck the sheets real tight, I can use them as a hammock. I'll use that as a last resort.
since I last heard that phrase. I was so proud, but damned if I wasn't lauded as a master of verbal vomit.
Southpark last week had Cartman make a $20 bet with Kyle. The bet was that Cartman could shove food up his butt and shit out of his mouth. The entire school spent 5 minutes watching Cartman kneel at a toilet, "huuugh.....huuugh.....hughhhh." He was eventually successful.
The Battle of the Bed continues. Ronda now occupies approximately 76% of the available surface area, having recently taken over the much contested southwest corner of the bed. Little does she know that if I can tuck the sheets real tight, I can use them as a hammock. I'll use that as a last resort.
8/08/2002
Feh, it's like I get the website to where I can simply update it, but then I can't find the time. Is there such thing as Premature Aging?
Honestly, I'm not sure anybody even reads this page anymore. I haven't had a signature in my guestbook since the Clinton administration.
Better get this out now: Saw Attack of the Clones 11 times. The first time dressed as Yoda with my wife more than a dozen of my other friends, being interviewed on News 8 Austin. Best part about that was the fact that my interview had my voice talking about how much I liked Star Wars while the screen showed clips from the movie. One of my interviews (the one right before walking in the door) was based on the premise that I was actually Yoda. My quote: "Much booty will I kick."
The last time I saw Episode 2 was with several people from the first group, including Ronda, up in Dallas at Texas' only theater with Digital Projection. I won't bore you with all of the details of what digital projection is, or why it's a big deal. Let's just say it made the 10 previous viewings of the movie look like I saw them through a fog.....digital projection is that good.
I'm sure some of you out there are wondering what I do with all of my time, since it obviously isn't being spent updating the website. Work has gotten incredibly busy, with me raising statistical hell down upon those who can't copy numbers correctly....of course, it's more technical than that, but that's basically what it boils down to. Warcraft III came out several weeks ago. After many attempts at playing online, I've determined that, given the means, I would personally like to hunt down every living soul who has ever played against me in that game. Of course, giving them credit as being living souls is misleading. I completely believe that 99% of the people on Battle.net are soulless devourers of all that is good. Evil beings bent on spitting and defiling normal, humane acts of decency into oblivion. And all of these people use Huntresses. Every. Single. One.
Of course, if you don't play the game, you can't possibly know of the joy of which I speak. Makes me want to go play my Gamecube on my new TV.
Sorry. Went into the future there. I don't have a TV yet. But plans have been set in motion. Plans the likes of which have yet to be seen by human eyes. Plans which, once revealed decades from now, historians will publish tomes of literature regarding how, in the unlikeliest of unlikelyhoods, Tony Smith was able to convince his wife Ronda that they not only desperately needed, but could afford, a 34" 16:9 Widescreen High Definition Television (yes, it must be capitalized).
Indeed, "Project: Digital Goodness" is not some quick, simple scheme...but an elaborate, in situ torrent of suggestions. Nuggets of well placed info timed with the very same accuracy that landed Man on the moon. Comments placed over the entire course of 2001-2002. Some would think environmental engineering, dealing with the statistics of rivers, bays, estuaries, and the like would equate to some pretty tough calculations. But the level of calculation involved in "Project: Digital Goodness" makes mathematical models of chaos theory pale in comparison. Seriously, how much information do you think is out there regarding how long 7 pair of boxer shorts can be made to last, and the subsequent money saved that can be put towards the purchase of digital bliss? I'm not a husband looking for the latest and greatest gadget, I'm a pioneer.
If successful (thus far my informants suggest a probability of success of 53%), I plan on publishing my work. I knew things were going well when, at Fry's several weeks ago, a Panasonic salesman gave Ronda two, count 'em two, Beanie-Baby Dalmations. You just can't plan that kind of luck.
Honestly, I'm not sure anybody even reads this page anymore. I haven't had a signature in my guestbook since the Clinton administration.
Better get this out now: Saw Attack of the Clones 11 times. The first time dressed as Yoda with my wife more than a dozen of my other friends, being interviewed on News 8 Austin. Best part about that was the fact that my interview had my voice talking about how much I liked Star Wars while the screen showed clips from the movie. One of my interviews (the one right before walking in the door) was based on the premise that I was actually Yoda. My quote: "Much booty will I kick."
The last time I saw Episode 2 was with several people from the first group, including Ronda, up in Dallas at Texas' only theater with Digital Projection. I won't bore you with all of the details of what digital projection is, or why it's a big deal. Let's just say it made the 10 previous viewings of the movie look like I saw them through a fog.....digital projection is that good.
I'm sure some of you out there are wondering what I do with all of my time, since it obviously isn't being spent updating the website. Work has gotten incredibly busy, with me raising statistical hell down upon those who can't copy numbers correctly....of course, it's more technical than that, but that's basically what it boils down to. Warcraft III came out several weeks ago. After many attempts at playing online, I've determined that, given the means, I would personally like to hunt down every living soul who has ever played against me in that game. Of course, giving them credit as being living souls is misleading. I completely believe that 99% of the people on Battle.net are soulless devourers of all that is good. Evil beings bent on spitting and defiling normal, humane acts of decency into oblivion. And all of these people use Huntresses. Every. Single. One.
Of course, if you don't play the game, you can't possibly know of the joy of which I speak. Makes me want to go play my Gamecube on my new TV.
Sorry. Went into the future there. I don't have a TV yet. But plans have been set in motion. Plans the likes of which have yet to be seen by human eyes. Plans which, once revealed decades from now, historians will publish tomes of literature regarding how, in the unlikeliest of unlikelyhoods, Tony Smith was able to convince his wife Ronda that they not only desperately needed, but could afford, a 34" 16:9 Widescreen High Definition Television (yes, it must be capitalized).
Indeed, "Project: Digital Goodness" is not some quick, simple scheme...but an elaborate, in situ torrent of suggestions. Nuggets of well placed info timed with the very same accuracy that landed Man on the moon. Comments placed over the entire course of 2001-2002. Some would think environmental engineering, dealing with the statistics of rivers, bays, estuaries, and the like would equate to some pretty tough calculations. But the level of calculation involved in "Project: Digital Goodness" makes mathematical models of chaos theory pale in comparison. Seriously, how much information do you think is out there regarding how long 7 pair of boxer shorts can be made to last, and the subsequent money saved that can be put towards the purchase of digital bliss? I'm not a husband looking for the latest and greatest gadget, I'm a pioneer.
If successful (thus far my informants suggest a probability of success of 53%), I plan on publishing my work. I knew things were going well when, at Fry's several weeks ago, a Panasonic salesman gave Ronda two, count 'em two, Beanie-Baby Dalmations. You just can't plan that kind of luck.
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